Addiction: The Never-Ending Hamster Wheel 

Kayla, Matt, and Amelia’s Road to Recovery 

Have you ever had trouble breathing? Ever found yourself gasping for air? If you haven’t experienced this, I am sure you have witnessed it before, whether that be in a real-world scenario or in a movie.  

Now, imagine you show up to your doctor’s office with this troubled breathing, and suddenly, your airway closes, and you can’t breathe at all. What would happen next? 

I’d imagine there would be a massive panic as you forget how to breathe and the world turns dim. I’d imagine there would be a mad dash to receive oxygen, all while thoughts of panic invade your mind and prevent you from thinking straight. I’d imagine when you received oxygen and took several deep breaths, a sense of relief would wash over you. Your head would clear. Your body would relax. You would feel alive again.  

This illustration of trying to breathe without oxygen has been likened to an individual’s experience with addiction. Just as someone unable to breathe would scramble for air, so too would those caught in addiction to drugs and alcohol believe that more substances would cure their ails.  

I had the pleasure of speaking with two former Maddie’s Place parents, Kayla and Matt, who, for most of their lives, felt like they were on a never-ending hamster wheel with their addictions. During this cycle, they were always on the move, rushing to find their next hit. 

Kayla and Matt both used illegally manufactured fentanyl, the drug ravaging the streets of Spokane. However, its effects begin to wear off after only 15 minutes. Without another dose, one could experience body aches, nausea, increased heart rate, chills, cold flashes, and so many other symptoms.  

So, in the life of an addict, continuing to use drugs seems like the only way to experience relief and prevent sickness.   

How does one get to this level of addiction? 

For Kayla and Matt, drug dependency was never the life they imagined for themselves.  

It started with the people they found themselves closest to. For Matt, it was his brothers and friends in the party scene. For Kayla, it was her friends who liked to experiment.  

Once hooked, it became quite difficult to fully quit. For instance, throughout his life, Matt had several sober periods in which he got a job and worked hard to better his life. However, addiction always managed to creep back in.  

Things began to change when Kayla and Matt first met. 

“There was something about her,” Matt said, when thinking back to their first interaction. After they got to know each other, they were practically inseparable. They did everything together. And their goal was to get sober.  

Mentally, it was so helpful for them both to have someone they could relate to and dream with.  

But addiction still reared its ugly head in their lives no matter how badly they wanted out. Guilt and shame were their close companions on this journey, especially during Kayla’s pregnancy with their daughter, Amelia.

When Amelia was born, she was in the NICU for two weeks. The Department of Children, Youth, and Families (DCYF) quickly got involved and directed them to Maddie’s Place, which had not been open for very long.

When the time came to visit the facility, they were quite surprised at what they found.  

“Even from the parking lot, the place looks super nice, very welcoming and homey. It’s so peaceful. The visitation room was just immaculate. It was a very warm setting and very comfortable. They had everything we needed, and if there wasn’t something, they would go get it immediately” (Matt).  

While Kayla and Matt were still using during Amelia’s stay at Maddie’s Place, they were so thankful that Maddie’s Place still allowed them to visit her. Amelia’s life kick started a new fight in them to get sober. And this time, they had Maddie’s Place on their side to walk them through it.  

“We weren’t treated like we were addicts; we were treated like we were family” (Matt).  

So, after they went to treatment and got sober, DCYF returned Amelia to Kayla and Matt after four months in foster care. And suddenly, the frightening and daunting battle they had faced in their journey to recovery turned sweet. They truly believed there was no going back and now live into that conviction daily.  

As of today, they have been sober for over a year and are thriving as a family. Not only was Amelia returned to them, but they also got Kayla’s older son, Aiden, back in their care, with his case closing in June. Matt works a stable job, and Kayla works part time as the visitation coordinator at Maddie’s Place! It is amazing to watch Kayla thrive in her new position and offer the same kindness and support to those visiting as she and Matt received over a year ago.

You see, most individuals struggling with substance abuse have lost everyone. Their lives are a never-ending hamster wheel on the streets of Spokane and beyond. If you live in the area, I am sure you have seen this with your own eyes.  

When Amelia was born, Kayla and Matt had someone to fight for. Through her precious life, they clearly saw hope for their future. Between Maddie’s Place, DCYF, and other support groups, they had a collection of many individuals rooting for their chance at really living.   

So, reader, I ask you this: Will you be a part of the reason your coworker, sister, friend, dad, whoever it may be, fights for their sobriety? Will you stick around when the going gets tough? Will you help stop the hamster wheel? 

Questions? Suggestions? Email me at emma.jones@maddiesplace.org

This blog was posted on March 22, 2024.